I might be taking a huge risk posting this type of stuff but after my recent restroom experience at SFO, I feel compelled to make a list of all the things that drive me insane...
Don't you hate it when the automatic flush mechanism prematurely flushes the toilet? Isn't it just pleasant to have toilet water splashing your tush in the middle of finishing your business?
I was raised by an English Major. I spent my entire childhood being scolded about my grammar. Every time I abused the English language I was corrected. It didn't usually matter where we were either - at the dinner table, in public - it didn't matter. I swore I would never do this as an adult to my own child. Now that I am all growed up, I find myself constantly correcting Fen... It doesn't annoy him yet and I think it has really helped. He has great verbal skills. What I am forever cursed with is the rest of the population. It is so dumb and so frustrating and I blame it all on my mother but... When I am having a conversation with someone and they butcher a sentence, I find myself only thinking about how to say what they just said correctly. I completely lose track of the conversation and focus only on that. I understand that the rest of the world didn't have the pleasure of growing up with my mother. I try to forgive them and find my my way back to the point in the conversation where I lost myself. The one thing I can never let go of is this: I hate it when people respond to the question, "how are you?", with, "good". I mean really! Who raised you?! Now I get not landing each I, we or me in the correct place but come on people. "I'm good". How about, "I am doing well, thanks".
"Jibba Jabba" - I am not a fan of buzz words. As a matter of fact, I just found my bible. I bought "Why Business People Speak Like Idiots" last week. It is well written. Short & Sweet. It does a good job of explaining how to remove all the idiot speak and get to the point. We did a personality test a year or so ago and your results would reveal a series of sentences or phrases that would describe a. how you want to be spoken to and b. how you speak to others. The idea being that others read this and understand where you are coming from. I found my business motto from this exercise. "Be brief, be bright, be gone." Get to the point and don't waste time with all the other crap. I don't care what color the hair is of the guy at the bus stop who told you the time before getting on the number 12 so you could get to your house before your date where you met this guy that was horrible. Even worse is when people drop useless information that is strategically placed in order to impress the listener. For example, I asked a co-worker how she lost her wallet and had a large sum of money stolen from her credit cards. Her answer goes something like this, "I was at the Sonics game. We had court-side tickets, and you know there are tables right? So I had my purse with me under this table, you know on the court-side... I was sitting next to celebrity A and celebrity B. My girlfriends and I decided to load up in my friends brand new Range Rover and go get drinks in this private VIP room. I just thought my wallet fell out of my Louis Vuitton bag so I didn't worry about it. When I asked my girlfriend to check her brand new Range Rover parked in her driveway in Medina, she couldn't find it. So I ended up calling on Monday." Give me a break!!!!
I digress... This post could last for days but that would only give me more reason to avoid what I should be doing - studying!
I feel ya, girl. My father got me with this one:
"How are you?"
"I'm fine."
"Sugar is fine. You, my dear, are WELL."
Posted by: Leslie Irish Evans | February 13, 2006 at 11:40 AM